Transvestia

wanted one of the old doctors at the hospital to give her away. Heck - I knew he couldn't do it as good as me.

Besides, there wasn't anything for me to do. I was too old to be a ringbearer and too young to be an usher or one of the groomsmen. So I was supposed to sit around in front and wait until they brought Mother in. Big deal! I told Mary I would rather go swimming.

"So would I," she said. "But we're both stuck."

So, anyway, the day before the wedding arrived and the house was full of people and everything else. There was a steady stream of people in and out of the house bringing presents and flowers and Mother was running back and forth between our place and the church and the country club. Mary's bridesmaids arrived, they were all girls Mary knew from when she went away to college. And they were all getting their dresses fitted and everything. I went swimming in the afternoon.

That night, they were having the big rehearsal and we all went over to the church. Mother was pretty tired and she got real mad when Mary said something about finding the groom and doing a little rehearsing. Anyway, the rehearsal was pretty boring, except for some reason, one of the girls hadn't arrived yet the one that was supposed to be the maid of honor. Well, I suppose it wouldn't have made that much difference except Mary hollered about needing to have somebody take her place so everyone could judge the distances and everything. Honest to God even though she was my sister, I could have shot her when she said something about me taking the place. Well, everyone laughed, but Mother shoved me up there and they finished the rehearsal.

―

So we all went back to the house. I would have like to go to the bachelor party but Mother said No I was too young. Nuts. So I went back to the house with Mary. We had no sooner gotten home than there was phone call for Mary. When she hung up, she looked real disappointed.

"What's the matter?" I said. "The groom just join the

Foreign Legion?"